Cut and Paste Rules! Killer Shortcuts for Writing Blog Posts About Shit You Don’t Know

I love to write killer blog posts for my awesome blog but sometimes I just don’t have the time or even know what the fuck I’m talking about. But why should time restraints and ignorance about the subject matter keep me from doing what I totally get off on, and was meant to do, which is write in my kick-ass blog? Don’t bother trying to answer that as I was just thinking out loud and I’m going to answers my own question anyway – like right now.

The answer is it shouldn’t. Blogging is my right and that totally trumps all other concerns and issues. That’s why it’s called a right and not like a preference or something.

So what do I do when I’m  just itchin’ to kick out another post for my awesomely named blog and I don’t know jack about the subject? I cut and paste that shit!

My iPhone post is a good example. I don’t know shit about the iPhone as I got a Droid HTC Incredible. I got the Incredible because I like to be able to swap out a spare battery for trips or to get like a bigger one without having to void my warranty or drive to a store and have an employee do it for me like I’m a three year old. I also like to be able to swap out data with an external SD card, have multiple apps open simultaneously, and download whatever apps I want – you know, crazy technical shit like that.

So I don’t own an iPhone, don’t want to, and don’t care, but I know they are super popular so I want to make a blog post about it so I can get some killer traffic from the search engines or from Digg or Technorati or whatever and then have people click on my affiliate banners and Adwords links and make a few bucks off their pointless search for information about some retard product.

But like I said I don’t know dick about the IPhone so I gotta take some short cuts. The process it simple:

  1. Google the subject you want to write about
  2. Copy the best sentences from other peoples blogs
  3. Paste them into you own blog

Did I just blow your fucking mind or what?

I know what you are thinking – why didn’t anyone else think of doing this before? That I don’t know but it’s so awesomely simple. I’m officially calling this secret the The Absolute Longest Web Domain Name in the Whole God Damn Fucking Universe Info Extraction Method™. Be sure to always refer to it like that or I’ll fucking cut and paste your ass!

Now some of you might be saying that this is like stealing. Well it’s not. Stealing is just taking something while I’m taking a bunch of things and then putting them all together in a new way that is also like a billion times better than the original. Rappers do this all the time. They take lame songs like Kashmir, Super Freak, and Under Pressure and then put a big fat beat on top and then put like totally new words on top of that. It’s those two additional layers of killer stuff that make these songs great and new and more better. How could that be stealing?

So here’s my totally killer blog post about the new G4 iPhone using my The Absolute Longest Web Domain Name in the Whole God Damn Fucking Universe Info Extraction Method™.

10 Reasons Not to Buy Apple’s New iPhone

Apple’s launch of the iPhone 4 has seen the greatest excitement for a new phone ever – and with HD video recording, a super high-res screen and ridiculously slim dimensions, it’s not hard to see why.

It’s expensive: Buy the top-of-the-range Blackberry or Android handset and you will still pay a lot less than the extortionate prices Apple charge. This phone is wicked fast — and I say that with a fast HTC EVO phone sitting in my pocket. The EVO uses Sprint’s 4G network, while the iPhone runs on AT&T’s 3G network. Use the iPhone as a phone and it’s not got great reception, nor is it particularly comfortable to use for long periods.

But that didn’t hold the Apple device back at all.

Two microphones! And with HD video recording, a super high-res screen and ridiculously slim dimensions, it’s not hard to see why. Yes, this baby finally has the noise-canceling power of the Nexus One phone thanks to dual microphones. Don’t get me wrong, the FaceTime feature is beautifully conceived — it lets you make face-to-face video calls with just a single click, after all.

Tried instant messaging on an iPhone? Oh yes, you have to open the app to see if you’ve got a message. Genius. If Apple announces multitasking next it will be an improvement – but there’ll be no apology for the way it’s treated customers in the past, and no guarantee it won’t behave similarly shoddily in the future.

Apple’s launch of the iPhone 4 has seen the greatest excitement for a new phone ever – one is the traditional curved back and plastic exterior with slightly chunky dimensions; in is a chassis that’s only 9.3mm thin at its thickest point and a new stainless steel and glass industrial design.

The iPhone 4 will also sport what Jobs described as a “retina display” with four times the pixel density of a typical LCD display at a whopping 326 pixels per inch—This claim holds up – not only did we feel the need to drop the phone onto the floor a few times to test, someone nameless of the TechRadar team also knocked it out (an admittedly low level) window onto concrete – and not a scratch.

However, Apple is pushing the video editing envelope with a new iMovie application for iPhone, that enables users to assemble and trim clips and record directly into an iMovie timeline. I like that it’s available in White.

File This Under: Cut and Paste Blogging Tips – Tricks for Writing Awesome Blog Posts – Save Time By Using Content from Other BlogsPlagiarism and Blogging Myths – Plagiarizing Content is Easy and Fun – How to Steal Content…But It’s Not Stealing if You Make it More Better.

The Absolute Longest Web Domain Name in the Whole God Damn Fucking Universe

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